Make Mine Cr33py!

Sombebody put me together.

My life is in ruins. I can’t think straight, everything is a blur. The stress is beginning to affect my health. I’m just ready to get this over with, done, out of the way so I can move on. I just want to be happy.

I just want to be happy, thats all.

This past weekend was pretty fun actually. Friday was lackluster due to Danny cutting out early (damn sonic). Kevin and I tried to work on some new I,Me,My stuff, and practiced the songs we have already wrote. It was awful, lol. I was out of tune, drunk, and just not really playing very well at all. Kevin has Josephine down now tho. I have to re-learn the solo. We taped the session.

Saturday and Saturday night was a blast. I woke up early as fuck Saturday and started working on my car. First, I cleaned the interior, vacuumed, armor all, looks damn nice actually. That took about…2 hours. Then, I started putting in my new 4x6 for my left front, which turned into a total pain in the ass. I had no idea taking a door panel off of a Sunfire was so much trouble. I got everything apart, and of course, the speaker wouldnt fit right because of these little plastic knobby deals, so I cut those off. Then, the holes were too big for the screws, so I had to get washers…..jesus. Then! I got attacked by Wasps, who hate me because I kill their family and pillage their communities. Danny and Jess came over and helped me out with my speaker probs. We moved the car back up front in the shade and I commenced putting the speaker in. 12 pm came, and it was heineken time. Drank that, finished putting the speaker in, sounds good. Kenni rode with me while I picked Harlow up from moms. Fast Forward a few hours.

Andrea showed up, yay! she got it at like, 7-8? Anyways, shortly after she showed up, Danny and Jess came back. Helen was here with kenni. We made a beer run and grabbed a case of coors light (we bought a case of heineken the night before). We all ended up sitting outside drinking all night. It felt great! Danny got a call from Tim (who lives in little rock) and he said he was about 30 min from Danny’s house in memphis, danny told him he was in LA and to come down. Great seeing Tim again, as much shit as he has gone through, he has pulled out fine (girlfriend drama, mom dying, etc). Drank and smoked the night away, I ended up throwing heinken bottles all the way across the yard left and right. Dont know why. I also noticed I had grass in my hair when I went back inside. Dunno?

Highlights:

Andrea’s watching 2 people fuck in her bathroom story, criticzing how the girl couldnt give head and screaming “In your face!” when the girl got a facial, lmfao! Ive never laughed so hard in my fucking life. Only Andrea ends up in situations like this.

Smoking with Tim and everybody else. It was just hilarious, watching each person cough there lungs out, and me not for once.

Jess telling me they were leaving, and then coming back inside 30 minutes later and saying “No, really, we are leaving this time”

Andrea and Kenni laughing there asses off while I tried to sleep (not really a highlight, but it was nice to here them hanging out and cracking up like old times)

I don’t remember going to sleep, at all. I remember talking to Sarah on the pc, and holding harlow while listening to music, and then I woke up the next morning.

Well, looks like Im finally taking baby steps towards living on my own. My dad informed me this weekend that he is looking at another place down the road (literally, not even half a mile prob) and that he wanted to know if I wanted to rent his house from him. Difficult decision for me, since there are plenty or pro/cons

PROS:

It’s in Jonesboro, which is where I am going anyways, closer to work, save on gas…
It’s in the Valley View school district, which is where I want to put the kids (#1 school in AR now)
It’s in the country, which I wanted, because I like to rock out, lol.
It has a garage
It has a huge backyard
It has a massive old barn (possible studio?)
I can have animals there
It has a nice back porch with a great view
3 bedrooms
Kitchen is nice, and it has a bar

CONS:
It will still be owned by my dad/grandparents, which I want to get away from (I dont like having them over my head)
Ill probably have to fight to paint the damn place
It doesnt have central heat and air, which sucks ass and means slightly higher AC bills
No fence (I can always put one up I guess, for the kids)
Its on a gravel road (my car hates gravel roads, lmfao)
the ceilings are low, and I am tall (I can deal with some modifications, but I prefer tall ceilings)
Panelling (I fucking hate panelling, I cant seem to get away from it, not sure if its all the way through, didnt pay attention)

I just don’t really like the house that much, not the type of house I imagined I would live in. Its not a bad place, just not my style really. But, then again, my dads decorating is southwestern crap, so I need time to envision it with my tastes. Im almost positive Ill take it if dad gets the other place. If I end up hating it, I can always rent somewhere else.

This song, has for a long time, summed up how I feel about life

Metallica - No leaf Clover

And it feels right this time
On his crash course with the big time
Pays no mind to the distant thunder
New day fills his head with wonder, boy

Says it feels right this time
Turned it ’round and found the right line
“Good day to be alive, Sir
Good day to be alive” he said.

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way

Don’t it feel right like this?
All the pieces fall to his wish
Sucker for that quick reward boy
Sucker for that quick reward they said

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way…
It’s coming your way
It’s coming your way, oh yeah
Here it comes

Yeah then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way, yeah
Then it comes to be, yeah (x8)

Best link evah! Actually, it gives some really good tips on keeping your weight down while still being able to drink beer consitantly.

Good read, I recommend everybody who drinks to try.

http://www.ratebeer.com/Story.asp?StoryID=63

I’m back after a long hiatus, lots of things have changed, here is a small run down.

1. I am getting a Divorce. We are remaining civil, and hoping that everything goes smoothly, I initiated it. It will probably break more things than it will fix, but what can I do? I need a change.

2. I found my long lost friend from Ohio, Sarah. Its good to catch up and have somebody to talk that is unbiased. She helped me through alot of tough times in the past, and its nice to be back in touch with her

3. I have a new band, Ben Wolman on vocals, Kevin Bachman on Drums, and Me on Guitar. We are called I, Me, My and I am very happy with this lineup. We have a great chemistry.

4. My son, Felix, has become a ass, lol. He is one of the most debatting, snarkiest kids Ive ever met in my life, but I love him.

5. My mom has moved out on her own away from my dad (they have been divorced for years). She has a apartment in Jonesboro now, hopefully I can move near her soon.

6. I nearly broke my hand, or something during a drunken drink-a-thon with Danny. Wild Turkey, no more.. I didnt know that poles fought back.

7. Andrea has lost her mind, plan and simple. Ask her yourself!

8. I still work at Jones and Associates, still like my job. Suprisingly, I figured this would be the thing to change. I honestly, really like my job. I like my co-workers, my boss. Its kinda scary isnt it?

9. Kenni and I have ate wayyyyy too much Taco Bell and Sonic. Damn the fast food, resulting in me getting around 180lbs now. Actually, its the beer..the food doesnt help, but the beer is where the gut comes from.

10. Due to #9, I have started excersing daily, running, lifting, situps, pushups. This damn beer gut wont go away!

Right now, my mind is swaying from “normal” to “freakout” mode. I’m trying to deal with everything patiently. Trying not to lose my temper, and trying to keep myself, and my family happy.

I am trying so hard, and there are so many things going on in my mind. It’s hard to deal with it all. I feel like I have to put up a gaurd or something when talking to my friends. I have actually been rather happy since the whole divorce thing came about, it hurts of course, but I know what Im doing is good for me, and I hope it turns out good for my wife and kids. I will make sure that it does.

I’ve been feeling down again. I kinda feel like my friends don’t really want to hang out with me anymore. It’s so stupid to write things like that.

I don’t know whats going on. Chemical imbalance must be swaying again. I can’t think straight. I think my brains are leaking out.

Xmas went well. Got a few new clothes, kids racked up as usual.

I’m ready for Saturday.

I need to start meditation or something. I’ve thought about it for years, even when I was younger I “seriously” thought about taking it up. I have alot of anger and bad feelings in my life that I really need to get out. Music use to be my outlet, but I find it hard to write “those” songs, “these” days. Anywho.

We get to do some last minute, last chance xmas shopping tonight. Fun, I bet its going to be insane, as I went to walmart Monday and it was crazy as hell.

I am always confused around xmas time because of they dinner partys. I think we may have to skip my familys this year and do kenni’s because we skipped them for Thanksgiving. Oh well, I’ll save some gas.

We need a break from our kids, and my mom is willing to watch them this weekend, but then we will be stuck with them on New Years eve. I guess we are going to hold out till New Years so we can party with kev and hells.

Hopefully Kevin and I will get to work on some more \m/ music soon. I enjoyed last week.

I am putting on weight too fast, I need to slow it down. I’ve gained almost 35 lbs in 6-8 months. Everybody says “You’re filling out”.

I need to start smoking again.

I am getting sick. I feel absolutely awful today.

It started on the way to work, I hope it has nothing to do with not taking my medicine for 2 days. I don’t think so, but who knows.

I think it’s a cold, harlow was feeling bad last night, and kenneth said that it was going around.

“crosses fingers”