Sombebody put me together.
My life is in ruins. I can’t think straight, everything is a blur. The stress is beginning to affect my health. I’m just ready to get this over with, done, out of the way so I can move on. I just want to be happy.
I just want to be happy, thats all.
Alone, in a time of need
A hated self, a lifeless wreck
Another object unobtainable
Another drug to bring me life
Senseless agony, a tragedy far greater than Jesus Christ, a blackened soul which writhes in solitude, reaching out for something he’ll never have, a fallen angel, happiness, exchanged for attitude
Mind is a blur
The lost cause of the year
Shedding Skin via hot stinging blades
Ive died before from comfort
Senseless agony, a tragedy far greater than Jesus Christ, a blackened soul which writhes in solitude, reaching out for something he’ll never have, a fallen angel, happiness, exchanged for attitude
A Makeshift lord
The losing battle
A Mass Astringent
Forever is lost
A beautiful future
for a shiny blade
A love I cant find
because my eyes are shut
Endless agony, a tragedy far greater than Jesus Christ, a blackened soul which writhes in solitude, reaching out for something he’ll never have, a fallen angel, happiness, exchanged for death
This past weekend was pretty fun actually. Friday was lackluster due to Danny cutting out early (damn sonic). Kevin and I tried to work on some new I,Me,My stuff, and practiced the songs we have already wrote. It was awful, lol. I was out of tune, drunk, and just not really playing very well at all. Kevin has Josephine down now tho. I have to re-learn the solo. We taped the session.
Saturday and Saturday night was a blast. I woke up early as fuck Saturday and started working on my car. First, I cleaned the interior, vacuumed, armor all, looks damn nice actually. That took about…2 hours. Then, I started putting in my new 4x6 for my left front, which turned into a total pain in the ass. I had no idea taking a door panel off of a Sunfire was so much trouble. I got everything apart, and of course, the speaker wouldnt fit right because of these little plastic knobby deals, so I cut those off. Then, the holes were too big for the screws, so I had to get washers…..jesus. Then! I got attacked by Wasps, who hate me because I kill their family and pillage their communities. Danny and Jess came over and helped me out with my speaker probs. We moved the car back up front in the shade and I commenced putting the speaker in. 12 pm came, and it was heineken time. Drank that, finished putting the speaker in, sounds good. Kenni rode with me while I picked Harlow up from moms. Fast Forward a few hours.
Andrea showed up, yay! she got it at like, 7-8? Anyways, shortly after she showed up, Danny and Jess came back. Helen was here with kenni. We made a beer run and grabbed a case of coors light (we bought a case of heineken the night before). We all ended up sitting outside drinking all night. It felt great! Danny got a call from Tim (who lives in little rock) and he said he was about 30 min from Danny’s house in memphis, danny told him he was in LA and to come down. Great seeing Tim again, as much shit as he has gone through, he has pulled out fine (girlfriend drama, mom dying, etc). Drank and smoked the night away, I ended up throwing heinken bottles all the way across the yard left and right. Dont know why. I also noticed I had grass in my hair when I went back inside. Dunno?
Highlights:
Andrea’s watching 2 people fuck in her bathroom story, criticzing how the girl couldnt give head and screaming “In your face!” when the girl got a facial, lmfao! Ive never laughed so hard in my fucking life. Only Andrea ends up in situations like this.
Smoking with Tim and everybody else. It was just hilarious, watching each person cough there lungs out, and me not for once.
Jess telling me they were leaving, and then coming back inside 30 minutes later and saying “No, really, we are leaving this time”
Andrea and Kenni laughing there asses off while I tried to sleep (not really a highlight, but it was nice to here them hanging out and cracking up like old times)
I don’t remember going to sleep, at all. I remember talking to Sarah on the pc, and holding harlow while listening to music, and then I woke up the next morning.
Well, looks like Im finally taking baby steps towards living on my own. My dad informed me this weekend that he is looking at another place down the road (literally, not even half a mile prob) and that he wanted to know if I wanted to rent his house from him. Difficult decision for me, since there are plenty or pro/cons
PROS:
It’s in Jonesboro, which is where I am going anyways, closer to work, save on gas…
It’s in the Valley View school district, which is where I want to put the kids (#1 school in AR now)
It’s in the country, which I wanted, because I like to rock out, lol.
It has a garage
It has a huge backyard
It has a massive old barn (possible studio?)
I can have animals there
It has a nice back porch with a great view
3 bedrooms
Kitchen is nice, and it has a bar
CONS:
It will still be owned by my dad/grandparents, which I want to get away from (I dont like having them over my head)
Ill probably have to fight to paint the damn place
It doesnt have central heat and air, which sucks ass and means slightly higher AC bills
No fence (I can always put one up I guess, for the kids)
Its on a gravel road (my car hates gravel roads, lmfao)
the ceilings are low, and I am tall (I can deal with some modifications, but I prefer tall ceilings)
Panelling (I fucking hate panelling, I cant seem to get away from it, not sure if its all the way through, didnt pay attention)
I just don’t really like the house that much, not the type of house I imagined I would live in. Its not a bad place, just not my style really. But, then again, my dads decorating is southwestern crap, so I need time to envision it with my tastes. Im almost positive Ill take it if dad gets the other place. If I end up hating it, I can always rent somewhere else.